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May 11, 2006
Happy Mother's Day: My Working Family
My family has always worked hard, and continues to. My mother, wife, and mother-in-law especially mean much to me at this time of the year--MOTHER'S DAY--for they have given my life joy, constancy, and light. There are so many other female friends as well as grandmothers and aunts who have meant much to me, but I'll just touch on the beauty of these three: Mother, wife, mother-in-law.
My parents raised five children. Like many working families in the late fifties and throughout the sixties and seventies, both my parents worked. My father was in the U.S. Navy for twelve years, then became a Baptist preacher. My mother lived on bases throughout the country until all the kids were born. Then she began working different jobs--she did proofreading, threw morning papers, sold Avon, and so on. Nothing came easy, but we always made it.
I recall the days when Dad had to pick up our suppers at Tennessee Temple College in 1974. Mom was working because Dad, the Director of Chapels at Highland Park Baptist Church, was still waiting for a salary after three months. The pastor of Highland Park ~ Dr. Lee Robertson ~ was his mentor. Dr. Robertson told him the salary would come, but in the mean time he told my father he could pick up family meals at the Tennessee Temple dining hall. So every afternoon, my brothers and I were sent through the back door of the dining hall to emerge soon after with large dishes of cooked meat, vegetables, rolls, and pitcher of tea. Eventually the salary came, but we still needed help with food. So the dining hall was our fast food stop for awhile.
My mother never stopped worrying about us. As a result she always worked extra jobs, always found the best bargains on clothes, and always made sure we were dressed and ready for school on weekdays and for church every Sunday. As the minister's wife, she would be scrutinized by church members. The greatest scrutiny would focus on raising children. So she would put us on the first pew every service and watch us like a hawk. She was vigilant and loving at the same time.
My parents didn't have wealthy beginnings. My father grew up on a farm in Ohio, and then his family moved to a chemical plant town in West Virginia. My mother grew up in the same WV town. Before graduating from high school, her family moved to Florida so that her father could work at NASA. That didn't stop my Dad from pursuing her. He joined the Navy to prove he was serious about life, and the Navy made life more serious for him. After marriage, I came along. I am the firstborn and was delivered at the naval hospital in Jacksonville, Florida.
After I was born, three boys and one girl came along. And through it all, my mother has been a rock to stand on in my family, a constant source of encouragement and endurance. To help my father fulfill his calling, she sacrificed. When it came time to clean the house or do laundry or cook supper, we all pitched in. That was Mom's expectation and Dad's fun. We all helped cook, set the table, and clean up dishes. Every part of our dinners--whether preparing, eating, or picking up--were family affairs.
I couldn't help carrying on this tradition, so I married an Irish-Italian American named Dinah. Like my family, hers expects everyone to pitch in. And at our own home we still have that approach. It is often the best time for Dinah and I to catch up on the day or week, talking with each other as we cook together. I love sharing that time with my wife, for Dinah is so smart, joyful, and family-oriented. It is a joy to be with her.
Dinah and I are part of the Sandwich Generation. We are sandwiched in between raising a child and caring for an aging parent, since Dinah's mother is living with us too. Complicating that, Dinah sometimes travels for her business and I work as a teacher at Chattanooga State College. During those times when Dinah is out of town, I am solo in taking my son to school, getting his meals ready, making sure his homework is done, getting him to the bath. More and more fathers are doing this. Because we don't have the wealth to hire a "nanny," and don't know that we would if we could, our parenting is ours. Yet during these times, Dinah's mother helps me as best she can. But when all of us are together, we have a three-generational festival of Italian food.
I can't think of a better group of women in my life than that of my mother, wife and mother-in-law. Because of them, life has zest and beauty. Here's to you, dear mothers.
| By wjbailes | 06:50 AM
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